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Hey everyone. I'm surprised no one else noticed this. I got it off one of the newsgroups. Today is a sad day. "P.R. Music News Wire: "More changes in store for Allmans". In response to rumors circulating about possible line-up changes in the Allman Brothers Band it was announced today that the legendary group will become a duo. Citing personal and creative differences, founding members Gregg Allman and Butch Trucks have served the rest of the band six weeks notice. Questioned as he was leaving church this weekend, Allman said "After the Beacon run, they're all history". When asked what prompted the change Allman stated "Well I couldn't stand some of em, Butch couldn't stand the rest of em, and Jaimoe hasn't been able to stand any of us for years so we said what the heck, let's make a change". When asked who his choices for dismissal were, Allman replied "Haynes just had to go. I told him last year we were a God-fearin' band and that if he asked to play a Black Sabbath cover one more time he was through. Well, he kept pushing it and I'm a man of my word. As for Oteil, he's a fine bass player but last summer he came into my bus without shoes on and I swear that boy gave my dog a bad case of foot fungus! You know what antibiotics do to a dog's digestive track? Enough said." Reached in his office at Flying Frog Records, Butch Trucks was quoted as saying "I must admit that firing my nephew Derek was difficult but hey, business is business and family isn't business. When Derek told us he might have to miss a Beacon show or two to attend the birth of his child we knew he simply wasn't committed enough to be a long term member of the band. We thought about keeping Marc Quinones but the vibe hasn't been right since he got the offer to go on tour with Jennifer Lopez. I guess the thought of backing her up was really appealing to him and he asked us to reschedule some summer dates to accommodate but we refused. Since then our relationship has been extremely chilly." When asked how the fan base might react to such a drastic change, Trucks lamented "I'm sure to be cast as a Faustian figure in all this but hey, the rest of the band weren't exactly music business virgins when they signed on were they? Speaking of Faust, have your read the modern translation by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe? You really should." It is expected that Allman will handle vocal, organ and guitar duties while Trucks will play bass and percussion simultaneously. The new ABB is currently scheduling a nine state summer tour in conjunction with the "Steve Kimock One Man Band" and the "Bob Weir Trio"." Is nothing sacred?