Social Security's official statement is that they will never call you. So anyone doing so is by definition likely working some sort of hoax.

They will send you notices in the mail, and have meetings if necessary in their offices, but they won't call.

Damn punks. Got same call today. Here is one of several scripts I have memorized for these vermin:

First off, NEVER SAY THE WORD "YES" it could be recorded and used to impersonate you.

So the call:

Me: "Hello?"

Demon: "Hello this is Aloha Snackbar of the Social Security Administration, we have detected illegal activity on your account, and we need to verify information blah blah blah . . .

Me: "Excuse me bad connection, can you please repeat, slowly and clearly?"

Demon: (repeats all slowly and clearly)

Me: "Thank you for your cooperation. Your voiceprint is now the property of the Global Electronic Fraud Investigation Commission Task Force. Your voiceprint is now on file in our database and will be used to prosecute you if you refuse to provide contact and location information on your employers."

Demon: "Excuse me, what are you, a scam caller?"

Me: "No, you are, this is the end of the line pal, you just made one call too many. Impersonating a Social Security Officer is a Class A Felony here in the USA. I am certain that our intelligence contacts in your country will make your life hell. Your voiceprint is being processed as we speak. It already given us your location, we will have your identity in a few more minutes. Listen, we aren't after you, we are going after the executives of your fraud scheme. We know you are not making much money - here's the deal, you help us, you remain anonymous, and the GFEFTF will pay you ten times what these crooks are paying you, with a 100,000$ reward if your information results in conviction.....

and so on. Ends up scaring the crap out of them sometimes. Had one guy sounded like in tears begging for mercy, he described his stuation, he was a prisoner of local mafia, didn't make a penny and if he quit they would kill his family. And so on. Or they just go super mean, which is good for a few laughs.Guy today, in perfect Simpsons India accent:

"You f*ck off, go back to your country!"
"But I am in my country, you called me!"
Answer was priceless, imagine total stereotype India accent:
"F*ck you in your @ss, two times a day!"

hahahaHAHAAA

best part is the calls stop for a while, I think they have a blacklist of numbers that are possible busts. Got three calls from that same gang this morning, answered the last one with the rap and no calls since.

[Edited on 9/19/2019 by BrerRabbit]

That is the best one I've heard.

I usually say I'll to to the local FBI office and I give them the phone number. Let them try pranking them. Especially those IRS calls after I tell them I have triangulated their phone call.

Nice. I had a variation of that where I pretended I was on my work phone and my boss might catch me, can you call my personal number please? Then give them the local bureau number.

Almost every day I get the same woman call me. She says "hello" in a backwoods voice and then a recording starts "Hi, I'm with Credit Card Services and need to speak with you about your account. Please hold for our next agent."
I hold for about 20 seconds and when their "agent" picks up, I talk like a recording "Hi, we would like to remind you that all phone numbers are placed in our database, and are recorded for training and legal purposes."
Usually before you can say All phone numbers, they hang up. I have gotten to where I just yell in the phone when she calls and I'm thinking of getting an air horn, with her name on it.

I keep blocking numbers, but they just spoof another one and call back.

Creative. I like it.

One time I made a text clip of a bit of the Bhagavad Gita talking about demons eating people with bad karma, or something equally colorful, then played it back on Text to Speech slowed way down so it sounded real scary - that got the guy. He listened for 30 seconds not saying a word then hung up. He will remember that call for life.

Got three calls, all the same script from different numbers while I was on the golf course. All went to visual voicemail - I never answer. Since they are converted to text, guess I could send them to some agency.... Back when I was in college and 4 rooms shared the same phone line I played part of the Maggot Brain album with sounds of a toilet flushing, etc. to get the other rooms off the phone. May have to record that to play for them.... 😛

Got three calls, all the same script from different numbers while I was on the golf course. All went to visual voicemail - I never answer. Since they are converted to text, guess I could send them to some agency.... Back when I was in college and 4 rooms shared the same phone line I played part of the Maggot Brain album with sounds of a toilet flushing, etc. to get the other rooms off the phone. May have to record that to play for them.... 😛

Sang,

That's what you get for shooting golf at a Trump resort...scam from the Ukraine. Try a different golf course. 😛

Back when I was in college and 4 rooms shared the same phone line

When I was in college, we had one pay phone per floor in the dorms. I guess you can get an idea of how long ago that was.

if the phone rang late at night there were two answers the caller got: "Hi, thank you for calling Hazels' Whore House. Hazel is busy at the moment. My name is Henry how can I help you?" (With the I being a long drawn out AYHYU in a southern accent.)
Or: Barnesville Fire Department, you light 'em we fight 'em. What is your emergency.

If parents called on a Saturday or Sunday morning: I'm sorry, but he's trying to call up the toilet gods right now.