Chrissy Hynde? Really? Yawn.

(PS - that is a stupid thing for her or anyone else to say)

Did you two read what she said?

Edit: and before I get jumped all over on this subject, she started by recounting her own rape story and saying in hindsight, it wasn't smart to jump on the back of a bike with a gang member, him telling her he was taking her to a party.

Just read what she is saying with an open mind.

I also agree that a woman does not "invite" rape by what she is wearing.

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by heineken515]

I read what she said and it is moronic. Yeah if only that 82 year old lady raped in her Brooklyn home had not been dressed so provocatively.

I think she was saying that women should take some responsibility, in certain situations, for their own safety. getting blotto drunk with a bunch of strangers on spring break can be a bad idea for a woman wearing only a bikini.

I think she was saying that women should take some responsibility, in certain situations, for their own safety. getting blotto drunk with a bunch of strangers on spring break can be a bad idea for a woman wearing only a bikini.

I read and responded to the headline, didn't go to the link. However, I just clicked the link and read the article and it doesn't change my opinion one bit. I agree completely with Lucy Hastings who is quoted at the end of the article.

if you wanna jump in the lions cage and pet the lion, be my guest. if the lion attacks you and horribly maims you, blame lion if you want. sue the zoo too. have the lion put down. but please don't claim that you didn't know it would happen.

if you wanna jump in the lions cage and pet the lion, be my guest. if the lion attacks you and horribly maims you, blame lion if you want. sue the zoo too. have the lion put down. but please don't claim that you didn't know it would happen.

So what is your point, exactly? Is dressing provocatively supposed to be equivalent to petting the lion in this analogy? I'm not saying every case is black and white but there is waaaaaayyyyy too much gray area in this line of thinking for me.

I believe she said : Be vigilant, don't put yourself in a position to be raped.

And then there is logic!

In my life, I have learned to not put myself in a position for bad things to happen to me. If you don't want your car broken into - don't leave valuable objects visible on the seats. Don't want to get ripped off on a reefer deal - don't give money to some cat you've never met in your life and wait for his return.

I respect a woman's right to dress anyway she wants. Promiscuous yet fashionable attire is not a come-on for rapists. But (in my opinion) a woman should not dress like something from a Victoria's Secret ad while drunk in a bar late at night -and deciding that it should be completely acceptable and fine to use the MEN'S restroom facility. Yes, I've seen this. Several times.

And if this makes me a narrow-minded person, I don't mind wearing that t-shirt.

I believe she said : Be vigilant, don't put yourself in a position to be raped.

And then there is logic!

In my life, I have learned to not put myself in a position for bad things to happen to me. If you don't want your car broken into - don't leave valuable objects visible on the seats. Don't want to get ripped off on a reefer deal - don't give money to some cat you've never met in your life and wait for his return.

I respect a woman's right to dress anyway she wants. Promiscuous yet fashionable attire is not a come-on for rapists. But (in my opinion) a woman should not dress like something from a Victoria's Secret ad while drunk in a bar late at night -and deciding that it should be completely acceptable and fine to use the MEN'S restroom facility. Yes, I've seen this. Several times.

And if this makes me a narrow-minded person, I don't mind wearing that t-shirt.

You've seen what, women like the one you described get raped?

We are all responsible for our own poor choices, but some lines need to be drawn as well. I don't care if she's semi-conscious or completely passed out laying naked on the floor, that doesn't make it ok for anyone to assault her (or him, as the case may be). I do understand the point Hynde was trying to make, and sounds like she made some choices that she regrets, but when she says it was "all my doing" then I just can't agree. It almost sounds like she thinks what happened wasn't criminal, almost like she feels like she consented in some way just by being there. I think it is sad that she feels that way, if she really was raped. Almost sounds like a battered spouse who won't press charges even after getting send to the ER multiple times.

This is a complex issue that doesn't get talked about enough, IMO. I wish we had more women here who would weigh in.

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by gondicar]

Rape has nothing to do with a woman's attractiveness. Some offensively stupid posts in this thread.

Rape has nothing to do with a woman's attractiveness. Some offensively stupid posts in this thread.

More blunt than I was, but I have to agree.

I believe she said : Be vigilant, don't put yourself in a position to be raped.

And then there is logic!

In my life, I have learned to not put myself in a position for bad things to happen to me. If you don't want your car broken into - don't leave valuable objects visible on the seats. Don't want to get ripped off on a reefer deal - don't give money to some cat you've never met in your life and wait for his return.

I respect a woman's right to dress anyway she wants. Promiscuous yet fashionable attire is not a come-on for rapists. But (in my opinion) a woman should not dress like something from a Victoria's Secret ad while drunk in a bar late at night -and deciding that it should be completely acceptable and fine to use the MEN'S restroom facility. Yes, I've seen this. Several times.

And if this makes me a narrow-minded person, I don't mind wearing that t-shirt.

You've seen what, women like the one you described get raped?

We are all responsible for our own poor choices, but some lines need to be drawn as well. I don't care if she's semi-conscious or completely passed out laying naked on the floor, that doesn't make it ok for anyone to assault her (or him, as the case may be). I do understand the point Hynde was trying to make, and sounds like she made some choices that she regrets, but when she says it was "all my doing" then I just can't agree. It almost sounds like she thinks what happened wasn't criminal, almost like she feels like she consented in some way just by being there. I think it is sad that she feels that way, if she really was raped. Almost sounds like a battered spouse who won't press charges even after getting send to the ER multiple times.

This is a complex issue that doesn't get talked about enough, IMO. I wish we had more women here who would weigh in.

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by gondicar]

Nowhere in my post did I say that the behavior I described made rape okay, permissible or excusable. I was merely stating that a woman might reduce her chances of being raped by not putting herself in certain situations.
Don't stick your hand in the cage of a vicious animal or attempt selfies with a rattlesnake (refer to the news story several weeks ago).
And yes, I know of at least one rape that happened in the situation that I describe. I wasn't present. If I had been, I certainly would have done all in my power to prevent it. Like it or not, there are some sick individuals among us.

i'm with Rusty. women can dress however they want, drink however much they want, and hang out with who they want, but if you make bad decisions on those last 2, well something might happen. i'm not saying if something does happen it is her fault either. as Chrissie Hynde was saying IMO, don't put yourself in bad situations and you will be alot better off.

if you wanna jump in the lions cage and pet the lion, be my guest. if the lion attacks you and horribly maims you, blame lion if you want. sue the zoo too. have the lion put down. but please don't claim that you didn't know it would happen.

So what is your point, exactly? Is dressing provocatively supposed to be equivalent to petting the lion in this analogy? I'm not saying every case is black and white but there is waaaaaayyyyy too much gray area in this line of thinking for me.

no the lion represents a bad situation

i should have said could happen instead of would happen

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by LeglizHemp]

From the article, quote from Chrissie Hynde:

"You know, if you don't want to entice a rapist, don't wear high heels so you can't run from him," said the singer behind such hits as "I'll Stand By You." She continued: "If you're wearing something that says 'Come and f--- me,' you'd better be good on your feet. ... I don't think I'm saying anything controversial, am I?"

Actually Chrissie, I think you ARE saying something controversial. If her philosophy really did become a legal standard, think of the implications here. A woman with an outrageous body has on very short shorts and a halter top, very revealing. A guy tries to force himself on her. Guy's defense attorney, to the jurors, "Look at these pictures. Can you really say that she wasn't asking for it?"

C'mon now. Isn't that exactly the logic that Chrissie is using? It sends the WRONG message to men! I'll say it again: A woman can dress every bit as sexy as she chooses to. Nothing wrong with her doing that, if that's how she chooses to dress.

"Victims of sexual violence should never feel or be made to feel that they were responsible for the appalling crime they suffered, regardless of circumstances or factors which may have made them particularly vulnerable," (Lucy) Hastings added.

[Edited on 9/1/2015 by robslob]

i'm with Rusty. women can dress however they want, drink however much they want, and hang out with who they want, but if you make bad decisions on those last 2, well something might happen. i'm not saying if something does happen it is her fault either. as Chrissie Hynde was saying IMO, don't put yourself in bad situations and you will be alot better off.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Hynde said it was her fault, referring to the rape. We all own our own decisions. I doubt Hynde decided to get raped.

if you wanna jump in the lions cage and pet the lion, be my guest. if the lion attacks you and horribly maims you, blame lion if you want. sue the zoo too. have the lion put down. but please don't claim that you didn't know it would happen.

So what is your point, exactly? Is dressing provocatively supposed to be equivalent to petting the lion in this analogy? I'm not saying every case is black and white but there is waaaaaayyyyy too much gray area in this line of thinking for me.

no the lion represents a bad situation

i should have said could happen instead of would happen

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by LeglizHemp]

I think maybe we differ more about what we think she was saying and less about the substance whichever way you interpret her remarks.

if you wanna jump in the lions cage and pet the lion, be my guest. if the lion attacks you and horribly maims you, blame lion if you want. sue the zoo too. have the lion put down. but please don't claim that you didn't know it would happen.

So what is your point, exactly? Is dressing provocatively supposed to be equivalent to petting the lion in this analogy? I'm not saying every case is black and white but there is waaaaaayyyyy too much gray area in this line of thinking for me.

no the lion represents a bad situation

i should have said could happen instead of would happen

[Edited on 8/31/2015 by LeglizHemp]

I think maybe we differ more about what we think she was saying and less about the substance whichever way you interpret her remarks.

i agree

From the article, quote from Chrissie Hynde:

"You know, if you don't want to entice a rapist, don't wear high heels so you can't run from him," said the singer behind such hits as "I'll Stand By You." She continued: "If you're wearing something that says 'Come and f--- me,' you'd better be good on your feet. ... I don't think I'm saying anything controversial, am I?"

Actually Chrissie, I think you ARE saying something controversial. If her philosophy really did become a legal standard, think of the implications here. A woman with an outrageous body has on very short shorts and a halter top, very revealing. A guy tries to force himself on her. Guy's defense attorney, to the jurors, "Look at these pictures. Can you really say that she wasn't asking for it?"

C'mon now. Isn't that exactly the logic that Chrissie is using? It sends the WRONG message to men! I'll say it again: A woman can dress every bit as sexy as she chooses to. Nothing wrong with her doing that, if that's how she chooses to dress.

"Victims of sexual violence should never feel or be made to feel that they were responsible for the appalling crime they suffered, regardless of circumstances or factors which may have made them particularly vulnerable," (Lucy) Hastings added.

[Edited on 9/1/2015 by robslob]

Yes, that what it seems like she (Hynde) is saying, and I agree with what Lucy Hastings said.

Let me point out that this thread title is apparently the opinion of the original poster as Chrissie didn't say those words in the article.

"I respect a woman's right to dress anyway she wants. Promiscuous yet fashionable attire is not a come-on for rapists. But (in my opinion) a woman should not dress like something from a Victoria's Secret ad while drunk in a bar late at night -and deciding that it should be completely acceptable and fine to use the MEN'S restroom facility. Yes, I've seen this. Several times."

I agree with Rusty. If someone is drunk in a bar late at night, she is creating an opportunity for any depraved person to launch a power grab. Some might say she should not have been in a bar in the first place, some might say being drunk was an invitation, those are cultural things. Thousands of college students get drunk every year and they are not knowingly inviting rapists, but their behavior makes it easier for them to be overcome if their is a rapist in the vicinity. Rape is the fault of the rapist, but the rapee (victim) needs to minimize the chances of being in situations that increase the risk. Dressing like a ho will increase the risk because the rapist sees things he wants. There are ugly women who are raped not showing anything because rape is a crime of power and violence, but bear in mind the rapist does climax when he rapes, therefore anything that increases his arousal puts a woman at more risk.

Let me point out that this thread title is apparently the opinion of the original poster as Chrissie didn't say those words in the article.

"If you're wearing something that says 'Come and f--- me,' you'd better be good on your feet"

I stand by my interpretation of that remark in the title of this thread. And it also kept the F word out of the title.

[Edited on 9/1/2015 by robslob]

"Chrissie Hynde Says if Women Dont' Want To Get Raped They Shouldn't Dress Provocatively"

This is your brain on drugs kids.
Lots and lots of drugs.

Let me reinforce, as I am afraid I might have been mistaken by a few:

I am all for women dressing anyway they want. I do not feel that dressing in revealing fashion is an invitation to a rapist. I am for total freedom of expression -in art, dress and in speech.

Several of us were talking about not putting yourself in a position - for ANYTHING bad to happen to you. Call it measures of prevention.

So, who "asks for it"?

Let's say a guy walks into a Bay Area bar and starts giving his personal opinions about how bikers are the most uneducated and unrefined members of the human race. He goes on to say that in his opinion, Sonny Barger was a closeted homosexual. The guys at the table next to him clad in sleeveless leather vests with large patches that reflect their club pounce on him and beat him within inches of his life.

Was this his fault?
Was this smart of him?
Did he ask for it?
Could this beat-down have been avoided?

The guy was well within his right to free speech to state his opinions. He broke no laws.
His beating was courtesy of the local chapter. They broke the laws - not him. But they didn't go and seek him in the streets - he wandered into questionable turf and spoke some very unwise words.

Being right is often over-rated. 😉

yeah but...what was he wearing? 😛 😉

Let me reinforce, as I am afraid I might have been mistaken by a few:

I am all for women dressing anyway they want. I do not feel that dressing in revealing fashion is an invitation to a rapist. I am for total freedom of expression -in art, dress and in speech.

Several of us were talking about not putting yourself in a position - for ANYTHING bad to happen to you. Call it measures of prevention.

So, who "asks for it"?

Let's say a guy walks into a Bay Area bar and starts giving his personal opinions about how bikers are the most uneducated and unrefined members of the human race. He goes on to say that in his opinion, Sonny Barger was a closeted homosexual. The guys at the table next to him clad in sleeveless leather vests with large patches that reflect their club pounce on him and beat him within inches of his life.

Was this his fault?
Was this smart of him?
Did he ask for it?
Could this beat-down have been avoided?

The guy was well within his right to free speech to state his opinions. He broke no laws.
His beating was courtesy of the local chapter. They broke the laws - not him. But they didn't go and seek him in the streets - he wandered into questionable turf and spoke some very unwise words.

Being right is often over-rated. 😉

So what did she do?

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=82+year+old+womann+raped

Or she?

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/82-year-old-brooklyn-woman-brutally-raped-family-article-1.2293173

or she?

http://www.itv.com/news/2015-05-13/teenager-jailed-for-raping-91-year-old-woman-in-her-own-home/

or she?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/nursing-home-worker-minnesota-rape-victim-89-flirt-article-1.1699373

Let me reinforce, as I am afraid I might have been mistaken by a few:

I am all for women dressing anyway they want. I do not feel that dressing in revealing fashion is an invitation to a rapist. I am for total freedom of expression -in art, dress and in speech.

Several of us were talking about not putting yourself in a position - for ANYTHING bad to happen to you. Call it measures of prevention.

So, who "asks for it"?

Let's say a guy walks into a Bay Area bar and starts giving his personal opinions about how bikers are the most uneducated and unrefined members of the human race. He goes on to say that in his opinion, Sonny Barger was a closeted homosexual. The guys at the table next to him clad in sleeveless leather vests with large patches that reflect their club pounce on him and beat him within inches of his life.

Was this his fault?
Was this smart of him?
Did he ask for it?
Could this beat-down have been avoided?

The guy was well within his right to free speech to state his opinions. He broke no laws.
His beating was courtesy of the local chapter. They broke the laws - not him. But they didn't go and seek him in the streets - he wandered into questionable turf and spoke some very unwise words.

Being right is often over-rated. 😉

I think you just told a story about apples when we were talking about oranges.

I think you just told a story about apples when we were talking about oranges.

And meanwhile Chrissie Hynde is talking about strawberries.

Every living breathing, non caveman person on the planet knows rape is terrible and wrong in every circumstance.

Let me say that again, rape is wrong, rapists should be sent to an island to live with pedophiles and cop killers, they do not deserve to live in our society.

But, what is wrong with her message? Not what robslob interprets her message as, as evidenced by the thread title, but her actual message?

But, what is wrong with her message? Not what robslob interprets her message as, as evidenced by the thread title, but her actual message?

For me it is that she said this:

"Technically speaking, however you want to look at it, this was all my doing, and I take full responsibility."

That is a bad message, especially to send to women who often find it very difficult to report sexual assault to begin with, for a variety of reasons.