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Author: Subject: Shelter From the Storm

Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2010 at 10:10 AM
Great posts. I think we also have to remember that Paul didn't start out knowing how to be content; he started out hunting down Christians. Peter was stubborn and didn't get it; he abandonded Jesus and felt crushed and ahsamed for doing so. All the apostles walked with Jesus, ate with him, hung out with him, saw him do miracles, and still didn't get it until after he died and rose again. We are no different than any of these other people. We have to press on, step by step, day by day on this walk. God changes us through his tramsforming spirit. We don't change ourselves through our efforts. We have to stay close to God and abide in that spirit through our walk. It is so nice to be able to come here and find encouragement, to be "sharpened" by others walking this same road. Someday we all get to sit down face to face and talk about it. Sooner or later.

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 7/6/2010 at 08:45 PM
Amen and Amen.

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 7/6/2010 at 11:48 PM
Over the last few years I have asked God to show himself. I have prayed to Him to show himself. I have begged Him to. I have dared Him to. Challenged Him to. Called Him every foul name I could think to get Him to show Himself in anger, or send a bolt of lightning down which would be an answer. I have cussed Him, and shook my fist at Him above. Guess what? Not a peep. This God of dead children is a no show. If ever anyone deserved at least an explanation,, I f*cking do. This non-intervening God? Why do people pray then? He is the Non-Intervener, after all. I did no sin in my life that two kids should die. I have no karma of that magnitude, so He must be the Non-Intervener. Maybe me writing this challange will get Him to read. Wait, He is All Knowing. I personally think He is the God with a f*cked up sense of humor.

I appreciate the sentiments in this thread, they are wonderful. Maybe I am just past the point of no return. Maybe someday it all just gets real. Yes, I am counseling with a chaplain who deals with the dead and dying daily. I am only the third person he knows of with two dead kids. He has no answer. Except to pray. I'm prayed out.

I am open to suggestions on verse and chapter or psalm in my Bible or send me the hot line number right to that Mute God. He came to people in the Bible who needed Him less, for really some bullsh!t reasons.

Yes, I am pissed at God.

"God is a Concept by which
we measure our pain"

maybe Lennon was God.

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 07:43 AM
Bird - I'm responding because I want to acknowledge you. I don't have all the answers, none of us do. I hear your pain and I really am sorry. The first thing I think of is Job. "Have you considered my servant Job?" . I will get back to you very, very soon. Doug and Mark will be around later. Please know that we are here for you and really want to help. Until I am able to get back to you, please know that I am praying for you.

Nancy


 

True Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 08:23 AM
Bird...I read your post and prayed for you.
I can't imagine losing two children. My heart goes out to you, as I'm sure God's does, He just will show you in His time.
A verse that comes to mind is Isaiah 57:1..."The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart, devout men are taken away and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace..."
I volunteered (past tense) at Hasbro Children's Hospital, where some patients have terminal cancer. After my shift, just about every night, I'd walk to my car and this big, tough, hulking man would cry like a baby at the thought of 8,10,12 year old children dying from sickness. I too questioned God but as my faith has grown, I realize, and take great comfort in knowing, that these little ones are in Heaven, "for the Kingdom of God is such as these".
There's a book, "The Shack", that deals exclusively and directly with what you're experiencing. I must give you strong warning though, it may be difficult for you to read but for me, it was something that changed my spiritual walk for the better. It was a life-changing read.
God's ways are not our ways. His timing is not our timing. His wants are not our wants. His wisdom and being transcends anything we, His creation, can possibly fathom.
It's good that you are angry with Him, you acknowledge His existence. I'm positive He understands your anger and also positive that one day, in His time, He will show you, via a verse, a person in your life or in a subtle nudge toward trusting Him, that He has things in control.
I know these are mere words on your monitor but take comfort my friend in the fact that there are those of us here that pray for you and "the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective".
God bless...

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 10:12 AM
bird, I've followed what you have posted about this over the years. I can't begin to imagine the loss and pain you experience and carry with you every day. I don't think there can ever be any words to relieve that pain. I know for myself that when I hung on to my pain and wanted God to fix it I floundered and suffered for twenty years. When I finally offered it up to God for him to do with as he saw fit he didn't take it away, he transformed it into something of use and benefit to others, and through that I was healed. Through that experience I learned about faith and trust in God as a loving, merciful, and just God who turns all our sorrow into joy. I've held you in my thoughts and prayers over the years, and will do so more often. I agree with Mark; "The Shack" had a big impact on my walk with God. Anything I can do, anytime you need somebody to talk to, let me know. You can pm me for particulars. Here's my favorite verse:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside the quiet waters,
he resotres my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me, your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You annoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

Ps. 23


 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 10:41 AM

 

Peach Head



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 11:07 AM
Sorry about the blank, Bird check your pm's


 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 7/7/2010 at 11:12 PM
Thank you for the kind responses and humouring my rant. I do believe in God, we just have an uneasy truce at the moment

It may be more than coincidental you two mention "The Shack"

Two weeks ago or so, I went out on a job appointment for this lady who wanted to convert overhead utilities to buried, and I had do a site survey. She mentioned how her late husband died in the orchard in front of the property, his own truck ran him over while he was tree working, parking brake deal. To extend a sense of "I know kind of what you went through" I told how I lost two sons. Talked for a couple of minutes on tragedy and such, then I went on my business of looking at the new job work needed...

She comes out of the house a few minutes later and said how I had to read this book, and hands it to me. Also said it would be hard to read, but that I need to. She said how she met the author here in Montana. Didn't let on really what the book is about, but that it dealt with loss and more.

I asked my Chaplain Bob friend if he had read it a few days later. He hesitated for some reason after I told him the story above, he hesitated, then said "Yes, you should read it"

I need to ask him why he hesitated....

But in the course of two weeks, I was given the book, and now told by four people that I need to read it.

Maybe this is how God works, The God of Subtle. I like theatrics and lightning bolts, but maybe that is just too Hollywood

Chaplain Bob also told me I could be a "messenger" who talks to people, which I found the most ludicrous thing I ever heard, considering what a tangle my thoughts are.

All I really want is to be able to function without the "triggers" slamming me to the ground every time. The sound of skateboard wheels on a sidewalk, or a little boy with a Superman shirt on, or a kid with the same build, or the same hair, so many triggers, and it drives you a bit bonkers after a while. The sadness is maybe part of the deal, but the incapacitating stuff is too much.

Maybe the statememt that God has been there is true. Maybe without Him I would have killed somebody by now. or been a raging drunk 24/7, or started pondering the appeal of a bullet, and maybe He has kept me somewhat safe and I am so clueless to not even see it.

I ramble, but Thank You.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/8/2010 at 05:56 AM
Sounds to me like God might be nudging you to take some action. Maybe you reached out into this thread because the time is right for you now. God took all my baggage and turned it into a "message" about him that I get to deliver to others in need. He puts them right into the middle of my life constantly. Maybe he has a job like that for you to do, I don't know. Read the book.

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 7/8/2010 at 07:21 PM
I think you should read the book.


 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/9/2010 at 07:01 AM
"But I trust in you, O Lord;
I say, "You are my God."
My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who persue me.

Ps. 31:14-15

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/10/2010 at 07:46 AM
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him
and praise his name.
For the Lord is good
and his love endures forever,
his faithfullness continues
through all generations."

Ps. 100:4-5

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/11/2010 at 01:13 PM
"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth;
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pastures."

Ps. 100:1-3

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/12/2010 at 06:03 AM
"Consider what God has done:
Who can straighten what he has made crooked?
When times are good, be happy;
when times are bad, consider:
God has made one as well as the other."

Ecclesiastes 7:13

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/13/2010 at 06:26 AM
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Romans 12:21

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/14/2010 at 05:18 AM
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good."

Romans 12:9

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/15/2010 at 06:18 AM
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Romans 12:10

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/16/2010 at 04:23 PM
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, mounr with those who mourn."

Romans12:15

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/16/2010 at 05:33 PM
This Sunday I sang "Farther Along" for the music portion of our Church Service
The First verse is:

Tempted and tried we’re oft’ made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long;
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.

Completely independent of my choice of Music the Preacher choose Psalm 82 for the Psalter

which contains.

"How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked?"

Freaky Huh?





got this picture from my Mom.



[Edited on 7/20/2010 by spacemonkey]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/16/2010 at 06:50 PM
The longer I live the less I believe in coincidences.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/18/2010 at 08:41 AM
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Romans 12:18

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/19/2010 at 08:27 AM
"Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your act of spiritual worship."

Romans 12:1

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/20/2010 at 05:56 AM
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil."

Romans 12:17

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/20/2010 at 03:05 PM
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have
fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son
cleanseth us from all sin.
-- 1 John 1:7

 

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