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Author: Subject: The Story of Barack Obama (As Told By Conservatives)

Zen Peach





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  posted on 5/1/2014 at 10:29 AM
The Story of Barack Obama (As Told By Conservatives)

Barack Obama was born in Kenya. His father was the communist Frank Marshall Davis, who taught the young Barack the ways of Communism.

At some point, Barack Obama Sr. came into the picture and pretended to be Barack Obama’s real father. He taught his “son” to hate the British because of their behavior in colonial days. The Obamas posted a birth announcement in a Hawaii newspaper in order to fake their son’s birth on U.S. soil.

Obama attended a Madrassa in Indonesia, where he grew up. This is where he learned to be a Muslim.
Obama then decided to adopt the name “Barry” as part of his long-standing plot to fake being American.

In high school Obama smoked a lot of weed. He was the first and only person who grew up in the 1970s to do so.

Obama did not go to college – nobody remembers seeing him and they can fake pictures – and also became the president of the Harvard Law Review. He hugged a black studies professor one time, probably to get secret messages on how to be a good socialist.

Obama dated a white woman while not at college. As a black supremacist, their relationship could not last.

Obama eventually married Michelle Obama, who hated America and was very very fat.
At this point, Obama began to worship with Jeremiah Wright, continuously agreeing with every thing Wright said.

Obama worked as a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago, which is a fancy way of saying professional Socialist. He made his connections here with fringe left wing radicals that would be instrumental down the line, because left wing radicals are as influential now as they were in 1968.

Obama lost a Congressional race to Bobby Seale, and began to learn the mind control techniques he would need to be successful in the future.

At some point around this time, Obama had a homosexual affair. Come on you just know he did.

Obama was elected to Illinois State Senate, then began to support a slew of bills, including open infanticide, teaching sex techniques to elementary age children, and voicing opposition to invading Iraq unlike all the other good people.

Using a series of dirty tricks, like doing opposition research on his political opponents, Obama cleared the field in the Illinois U.S. Senate race. Even so, he barely defeated Alan Keyes by 43%.

Obama was elected to the U.S. Senate and then Liberal Moneymen decided he would be their chosen Manchurian candidate for President.

Obama won the nomination in 2008, and proceeded to further use mind control tricks in order to attract the support of young voters, who were totally in a trance because Obama never spoke in specifics, only repeating the mantra “HopeNChange.”

The Obama campaign smeared the good name of war hero John McCain, who was propped up by the mainstream media because in reality he is a RINO SQUISH.

Thanks to Liberal Moneymen deliberately crashing the economy, plus the use of armed New Black Panthers and agents of ACORN at the ballot box, Obama was able to steal enough votes to become President.

Everything was good with the economy until Obama was elected, then mysteriously on Jan 20, 2009, the market collapsed. Thanks to Obama and his socialisms.
By being mean, Obama got congress to pass the stimulus, which no Republican supported.
America began adding jobs but not based on this weird formula which nobody actually uses, so Obama’s entire jobs record is suspect.

Then Obama did the worst thing ever. He RAMMED a law through Congress. And when we say “rammed” we mean he proposed legislation that was voted on by the House and Senate and passed by majorities in both bodies.

Brave Republican Attorneys General challenged Obama’s health care law, but due to gay sex photos of Justice Roberts, he was blackmailed into upholding the health care law.

Osama Bin Laden was killed during Obama’s first term, which he made all about himself by repeatedly thanking the members of Seal Team Six on national television. Also it was no big deal that Bin Laden was caught, even though he killed thousands of people and was elevated to public enemy number one by President Bush.

When Obama came up for re-election, the liberal media again used voodoo spells on the GOP primary and forced Mitt Romney to be nominated. Even so, Obama refused to just give up the presidency and actually campaigned against Romney just like a Kenyan usurper would. He and his campaign and supporters said mean things about Romney and had the nerve to make note of the fact that Romney hid his taxes and kept his money offshore. Meanies.

During the election, the attack on Benghazi happened. When it happened Obama issued an order for a major cover-up and a memo was edited. Like, a lot. But Obama hid this all because he knew it would be the silver bullet to stop his campaign or a future Clinton campaign.

At the same time, Tea Party groups were filing for non-profit status. Obama knew these groups would have put up AWESOME ads that would destroy him and his presidency, so he ordered the IRS to investigate these groups. He didn’t tell the IRS to audit anyone or use its powers against them, he instead did the least destructive thing because Obama is super diabolical.

Then he and his campaign rigged the polls. In reality, Romney was headed towards a Reagan-style landslide, just as George Will and Michael Barone and Dick Morris had predicted. Instead, the media and Obama fixed the polls and made it so all of them showed him winning, which convinced low information voters (aka the black ones) that Obama was winning.

Obama also got the Bureau of Labor Statistics to fake the unemployment rate. He decided against just cutting it in half and instead had it drop just a marginal amount, because he is America’s most evil president.

On Election Day, thanks to rigging the polls and hiding Benghazi and the IRS and the work of the New Black Panthers, Obama was re-elected. This was also helped by forcing Romney’s election day tool, Orca, to crash.

Once re-elected, Obama has continued to spread socialism via a record breaking stock market, while still covering up Benghazi and the like.

Soon the evil of Obama will be exposed and he will be impeached and finally the right people will get to be back in charge of America, wink wink if you know what I mean.


http://thedailybanter.com/2014/04/the-story-of-barack-obama-as-told-by-cons ervatives/

By Oliver Willis


Gotta admit, this was pretty funny..........

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 5/2/2014 at 06:15 AM
Reads like a short summary of the bogus emails I use to get from some of my friends on the far right.

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 5/3/2014 at 02:46 PM
quote:
The Story of Barack Obama (As Told By Conservatives)

Barack Obama was born in Kenya. His father was the communist Frank Marshall Davis, who taught the young Barack the ways of Communism.

At some point, Barack Obama Sr. came into the picture and pretended to be Barack Obama’s real father. He taught his “son” to hate the British because of their behavior in colonial days. The Obamas posted a birth announcement in a Hawaii newspaper in order to fake their son’s birth on U.S. soil.

Obama attended a Madrassa in Indonesia, where he grew up. This is where he learned to be a Muslim.
Obama then decided to adopt the name “Barry” as part of his long-standing plot to fake being American.

In high school Obama smoked a lot of weed. He was the first and only person who grew up in the 1970s to do so.

Obama did not go to college – nobody remembers seeing him and they can fake pictures – and also became the president of the Harvard Law Review. He hugged a black studies professor one time, probably to get secret messages on how to be a good socialist.

Obama dated a white woman while not at college. As a black supremacist, their relationship could not last.

Obama eventually married Michelle Obama, who hated America and was very very fat.
At this point, Obama began to worship with Jeremiah Wright, continuously agreeing with every thing Wright said.

Obama worked as a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago, which is a fancy way of saying professional Socialist. He made his connections here with fringe left wing radicals that would be instrumental down the line, because left wing radicals are as influential now as they were in 1968.

Obama lost a Congressional race to Bobby Seale, and began to learn the mind control techniques he would need to be successful in the future.

At some point around this time, Obama had a homosexual affair. Come on you just know he did.

Obama was elected to Illinois State Senate, then began to support a slew of bills, including open infanticide, teaching sex techniques to elementary age children, and voicing opposition to invading Iraq unlike all the other good people.

Using a series of dirty tricks, like doing opposition research on his political opponents, Obama cleared the field in the Illinois U.S. Senate race. Even so, he barely defeated Alan Keyes by 43%.

Obama was elected to the U.S. Senate and then Liberal Moneymen decided he would be their chosen Manchurian candidate for President.

Obama won the nomination in 2008, and proceeded to further use mind control tricks in order to attract the support of young voters, who were totally in a trance because Obama never spoke in specifics, only repeating the mantra “HopeNChange.”

The Obama campaign smeared the good name of war hero John McCain, who was propped up by the mainstream media because in reality he is a RINO SQUISH.

Thanks to Liberal Moneymen deliberately crashing the economy, plus the use of armed New Black Panthers and agents of ACORN at the ballot box, Obama was able to steal enough votes to become President.

Everything was good with the economy until Obama was elected, then mysteriously on Jan 20, 2009, the market collapsed. Thanks to Obama and his socialisms.
By being mean, Obama got congress to pass the stimulus, which no Republican supported.
America began adding jobs but not based on this weird formula which nobody actually uses, so Obama’s entire jobs record is suspect.

Then Obama did the worst thing ever. He RAMMED a law through Congress. And when we say “rammed” we mean he proposed legislation that was voted on by the House and Senate and passed by majorities in both bodies.

Brave Republican Attorneys General challenged Obama’s health care law, but due to gay sex photos of Justice Roberts, he was blackmailed into upholding the health care law.

Osama Bin Laden was killed during Obama’s first term, which he made all about himself by repeatedly thanking the members of Seal Team Six on national television. Also it was no big deal that Bin Laden was caught, even though he killed thousands of people and was elevated to public enemy number one by President Bush.

When Obama came up for re-election, the liberal media again used voodoo spells on the GOP primary and forced Mitt Romney to be nominated. Even so, Obama refused to just give up the presidency and actually campaigned against Romney just like a Kenyan usurper would. He and his campaign and supporters said mean things about Romney and had the nerve to make note of the fact that Romney hid his taxes and kept his money offshore. Meanies.

During the election, the attack on Benghazi happened. When it happened Obama issued an order for a major cover-up and a memo was edited. Like, a lot. But Obama hid this all because he knew it would be the silver bullet to stop his campaign or a future Clinton campaign.

At the same time, Tea Party groups were filing for non-profit status. Obama knew these groups would have put up AWESOME ads that would destroy him and his presidency, so he ordered the IRS to investigate these groups. He didn’t tell the IRS to audit anyone or use its powers against them, he instead did the least destructive thing because Obama is super diabolical.

Then he and his campaign rigged the polls. In reality, Romney was headed towards a Reagan-style landslide, just as George Will and Michael Barone and Dick Morris had predicted. Instead, the media and Obama fixed the polls and made it so all of them showed him winning, which convinced low information voters (aka the black ones) that Obama was winning.

Obama also got the Bureau of Labor Statistics to fake the unemployment rate. He decided against just cutting it in half and instead had it drop just a marginal amount, because he is America’s most evil president.

On Election Day, thanks to rigging the polls and hiding Benghazi and the IRS and the work of the New Black Panthers, Obama was re-elected. This was also helped by forcing Romney’s election day tool, Orca, to crash.

Once re-elected, Obama has continued to spread socialism via a record breaking stock market, while still covering up Benghazi and the like.

Soon the evil of Obama will be exposed and he will be impeached and finally the right people will get to be back in charge of America, wink wink if you know what I mean.


http://thedailybanter.com/2014/04/the-story-of-barack-obama-as-told-by-cons ervatives/

By Oliver Willis


Gotta admit, this was pretty funny..........


Well, I'm a conservative, and I find the majority of the list quite unbelievable.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/4/2014 at 02:15 PM
There's been a thousand articles written similar to this garbage since Obama was elected. All they do is position Obama as some poor little victim, while at the same time obscuring his true shortcomings:

Unqualified, Unprepared, Overmatched.

 

True Peach



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  posted on 5/4/2014 at 03:54 PM
quote:
There's been a thousand articles written similar to this garbage since Obama was elected. All they do is position Obama as some poor little victim, while at the same time obscuring his true shortcomings:

Unqualified, Unprepared, Overmatched.
But still far superior in performance and intellect than, mccain, romney, george dumbya, or any of the 2016 republiklan hopefuls.



[Edited on 5/4/2014 by pops42]

 

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Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 5/4/2014 at 06:37 PM
quote:
quote:
There's been a thousand articles written similar to this garbage since Obama was elected. All they do is position Obama as some poor little victim, while at the same time obscuring his true shortcomings:

Unqualified, Unprepared, Overmatched.
But still far superior in performance and intellect than, mccain, romney, george dumbya, or any of the 2016 republiklan hopefuls.



[Edited on 5/4/2014 by pops42]


Next up Cruz, Perry, Paul, Chris (the bridge) Christie. Let's see how far that crew will make it with a platform from the Dark Ages. Betting odds would see a repeat of the previous 2 presidential elections with the Dems holding the White House.

 

Sublime Peach



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  posted on 5/4/2014 at 08:23 PM


[Edited on 10/7/2014 by jerryphilbob]

 

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"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."

- John Lennon

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/4/2014 at 11:59 PM
quote:
Next up Cruz, Perry, Paul, Chris (the bridge) Christie. Let's see how far that crew will make it with a platform from the Dark Ages.


Sure.

As if your average low-info Obama voter cast their vote based on a platform. Keep the laughs coming.

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 02:55 AM
quote:
quote:
Next up Cruz, Perry, Paul, Chris (the bridge) Christie. Let's see how far that crew will make it with a platform from the Dark Ages.


Sure.

As if your average low-info Obama voter cast their vote based on a platform. Keep the laughs coming.


Then what do the the low information Obama voter case their vote based on?

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 06:01 AM
quote:
There's been a thousand articles written similar to this garbage since Obama was elected. All they do is position Obama as some poor little victim, while at the same time obscuring his true shortcomings:

Unqualified, Unprepared, Overmatched.


We've never had a president so thoroughly disrespected and sabotaged like this one at the expense of everyone else except a pair of cretin biliionaire brothers. We'll never know how great he might have been because the Teabaggers filibustered and blocked everything he tried to accomplish. Everything from blocking a huge jobs bill to blocking veterans benefits to imposing penalties on corporations who move jobs off shore. Even with no cooperation 5 million private sector jobs were created compared to -650K under dubya.

 

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"Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men for the nastiest of motives will somehow work for the benefit of all". John Maynard Keynes

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 10:33 AM
The root of all evil... A pair of cretin billionaire brothers. Didn't you leave out the John Birchers, the other bogeyman in the closet?

Ever heard of George Soros?

He hasn't earned the respect of anyone except apparently his sycophants and blind defenders.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 11:04 AM
quote:
quote:
There's been a thousand articles written similar to this garbage since Obama was elected. All they do is position Obama as some poor little victim, while at the same time obscuring his true shortcomings:

Unqualified, Unprepared, Overmatched.
But still far superior in performance and intellect than, mccain, romney, george dumbya, or any of the 2016 republiklan hopefuls.

Not by a longshot. Keep believing that though.



[Edited on 5/4/2014 by pops42]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 11:06 AM
quote:
quote:
quote:
Next up Cruz, Perry, Paul, Chris (the bridge) Christie. Let's see how far that crew will make it with a platform from the Dark Ages.


Sure.

As if your average low-info Obama voter cast their vote based on a platform. Keep the laughs coming.


Then what do the the low information Obama voter case their vote based on?


He's so cool.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/5/2014 at 12:44 PM
Let's examine the record...


1. Unifying the nation- FAILURE
2. Obamacare not being a tax - FAILURE
3. People keeping health plans they like- FAILURE
4. Recovery summer- FAILURE
5. Red lines in Syria- FAILURE
6. Diplomacy with Iran- FAILURE
7. Understanding Russia and Putin- FAILURE
8. Transparency- FAILURE
9. Ending partisanship- FAILURE
10. Unifying the nation- FAILURE
11. Diplomacy with N. Korea- FAILURE
12. Arab Spring- FAILURE
13. Lowering sea levels- FAILURE
14. People saving $2,500/yr on HC- FAILURE
15. Ending business as usual in DC- FAILURE
16. Creating a new green energy economy- FAILURE
17. No lobbyists in Obama administration- FAILURE
18. Publically financed campaigns only- FAILURE
19. Shovel ready jobs- FAILURE
20. Posting bills online for 5 days- FAILURE
21. Closing Guantanamo- FAILURE
22. Patriotic approach to Nat'l Debt- FAILURE
23. End to finger pointing and blame game- FAILURE
24. Stimulus keeping unemployment under 8%- FAILURE
25. Tracking guns in Mexico- FAILURE



Feel free to add to the list.
And no, Sang, this is not a Right Wing email......................................................


 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/6/2014 at 09:01 AM
I forgot one, a biggie from his first inauguration speech...

26. Saving the World- FAILURE

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 5/6/2014 at 10:32 AM
quote:
The root of all evil... A pair of cretin billionaire brothers. Didn't you leave out the John Birchers, the other bogeyman in the closet?

Ever heard of George Soros?

He hasn't earned the respect of anyone except apparently his sycophants and blind defenders.


False equivalency. Soros doesn't remotely compare to the Koch's. Those m-fers won't be happy until they have complete control and all the power. He supports social safety net initiatives that actually help other people even if it means it goes against his bottom line. Koch's on the other hand have bought the Supreme Court and rigged the laws to help themselves get richer while royally f-ing everyone else over.

As far as the Kochs John Birch manifesto it is a matter of historical fact, They are trying to carry on with what their a-hole old man started. Do a little research read what the Tea Party stands for then read up on what Fred Koch's John Birch manifesto was. They are identical.The sons are just doing it a lot sneakier and under a different name. But make no mistake it is the exact same agenda.

I know most of the regressives on here aren't real big on critical thinking. Roger Ailes sure has a powerful grip on your testicles. Your head is buried so far up his rectum if he makes a sharp left or right hand turn your neck will snap.





[Edited on 5/6/2014 by Peachypetewi]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/6/2014 at 11:02 AM
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/6/2014 at 12:17 PM
quote:
quote:
The root of all evil... A pair of cretin billionaire brothers. Didn't you leave out the John Birchers, the other bogeyman in the closet?

Ever heard of George Soros?

He hasn't earned the respect of anyone except apparently his sycophants and blind defenders.


False equivalency. Soros doesn't remotely compare to the Koch's.



Very true. There are things to dislike about Soros besides his political views....Convicted felon, currency manipulator, inside trader...Just to name a few.

 

True Peach



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  posted on 5/6/2014 at 09:32 PM
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.
Is
Soros trying to dismantle every piece of legislation that protected the middle/working class, the elderly, the sick, the children, and the most vulnerable among us for the past 80 years???. trying to compare soros to the koch brothers is wit-less.

[Edited on 5/7/2014 by pops42]

 

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Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 5/7/2014 at 10:26 AM
quote:
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.


It's quite a coincidence that their talking points end up in your posts. Perhaps that somehow occurs by osmosis. I do watch Fox for entertainment purposes only then usually watch the Colbert Report and Daily Show just to watch them tear Fox to shreds.

One last comment on the Kochs. The out spend Soros and the Unions that you so despise combined by several orders of magnitude. There is nothing admirable about their attempt to grab complete political and financial power and own the country while dismantling every social safety net, work place safety, minimum wage and environmental regulation that is in place. Their motives are obvious and a matter of public record. Their agenda is truly indefensible by any fair minded individual. They are motivated by pure greed at the expense of everyone else, if one looks at the factual information.

I'm too busy at work engineering medical devices that save peoples lives to keep up this banter. Good luck to you and I hope you don't continue to allow yourself to get bamboozled, but somehow I doubt it.

 

____________________
"Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men for the nastiest of motives will somehow work for the benefit of all". John Maynard Keynes

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/7/2014 at 11:35 AM
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.


Not to mention the Koch brothers. He seems to be mixing them up with Lex Luthor. Buying the Democratic smears lock stock and barrel.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 5/7/2014 at 06:20 PM
quote:
quote:
Next up Cruz, Perry, Paul, Chris (the bridge) Christie. Let's see how far that crew will make it with a platform from the Dark Ages.


Sure.

As if your average low-info Obama voter cast their vote based on a platform. Keep the laughs coming.
The ONLY low information voter is someone who is not wealthy and still votes republican. like the $9.00 an hour wage slave who votes republican because sean hannity told him/her to. [lots of those in the southwest where I live] I meet em all the time , from west texas to the california line. if you are not wealthy and vote republican, you are a low information voter and quite possibly a f%cking dummy.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/7/2014 at 06:26 PM
quote:
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.


Not to mention the Koch brothers. He seems to be mixing them up with Lex Luthor. Buying the Democratic smears lock stock and barrel.



So what did he say that wasn't true?

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/8/2014 at 11:39 AM
quote:
quote:
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.


Not to mention the Koch brothers. He seems to be mixing them up with Lex Luthor. Buying the Democratic smears lock stock and barrel.



So what did he say that wasn't true?


Except for the fact that they are billionaires, not one thing being said about them is true.

 

____________________

 

True Peach



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  posted on 5/8/2014 at 12:35 PM
quote:
quote:
quote:
quote:
Sorry pal, don't watch Fox news. My head is safe and my view is quite clear. And, you're horribly deluded about Soros.


Not to mention the Koch brothers. He seems to be mixing them up with Lex Luthor. Buying the Democratic smears lock stock and barrel.



So what did he say that wasn't true?


Except for the fact that they are billionaires, not one thing being said about them is true.
Every damn word is true.

 

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