Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread ><<  1    2  >>Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Alzheimer's

Peach Extraordinaire





Posts: 4481
(4487 all sites)
Registered: 9/10/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 08:41 AM
Looks like I am in for a long hard ride. My mother is in third stage of this dreaded disease and it just so happens her sister in Connecticut has been diagnosed with it as well.

She is misplacing things, asks the same questions 3 or 4 times in a half hour, has got lost coming home from shopping, is leaving the stove on, and forgets why she is at someplace. But, worse of all is she is sweet most of the time, but has her moments when she turns mean and says ugly things.

I'd appreciate some advise on what I am about to be dealing with. I am about to go stir crazy myself.

 

____________________
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” - Mahatma Gandhi

 
Replies:

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 23558
(24060 all sites)
Registered: 1/2/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 08:43 AM
Damn, Steve. I am SO sorry. I've not had to deal with Alzheimer's, so all I can say is be patient and know that when she is not her normal, sweet self, it's the disease. God bless you. Hang in there, bro.

 

____________________

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 10412
(10413 all sites)
Registered: 12/22/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 08:46 AM
Get involved with a caregiver support group, it will make a long hard ride a bit less bumpy

 

____________________

We're all Bozos on this bus!

 

Maximum Peach



Karma:
Posts: 9319
(9396 all sites)
Registered: 10/29/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 08:56 AM
Sorry to hear about your mom. This site may be helpful. The best of luck to you.

http://www.exelonpatch.com/info/For_the_Caregiver/caring-for-loved-one.jsp? utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=alzheimer's&utm_campa ign=ExelonPatch_Unbranded4.7.09&irmasrc=EXLWB0079]

 

____________________
Well 30 years of heart and soul,lord we took it further than rock and roll.
We stood together thru thick and thin,yeah we made the best of it all back then.
Then I guess time took it's toll,cut me deep,cut me cold.
Brother against brother....

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 10187
(10387 all sites)
Registered: 8/9/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 09:02 AM
Sorry about your mother Steve. It is a terrible disease. You are not alone, there are plenty of support groups to offer assistance out there. Definitely reach out to them Bro.
 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 15832
(15866 all sites)
Registered: 8/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 09:28 AM
Sorry to hear about this, Steve. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Seems to be so many of our generation dealing with this with their parents.

 

____________________


 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5944
(6041 all sites)
Registered: 1/24/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 09:52 AM
My .02, fwiw....
My Mom, who passed last month, definitely had quite a bit of dementia. Her mother, on the other hand, lived to 99 with no demetia. A difference could have been I gave my grandmother ginkho biloba (sp) several times a week. Tried to do that with my Mom, but she would have none of it. Don't know if it matters, I take it on days of important meetings, really helps me organize my thoughts. I think it makes a difference.
Like I said, fwiw.

 
E-Mail User

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5574
(5573 all sites)
Registered: 4/18/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 09:57 AM
quote:
Looks like I am in for a long hard ride. My mother is in third stage of this dreaded disease and it just so happens her sister in Connecticut has been diagnosed with it as well.

She is misplacing things, asks the same questions 3 or 4 times in a half hour, has got lost coming home from shopping, is leaving the stove on, and forgets why she is at someplace. But, worse of all is she is sweet most of the time, but has her moments when she turns mean and says ugly things.

I'd appreciate some advise on what I am about to be dealing with. I am about to go stir crazy myself.


She'll continue to do all of those things, and I hate to say, it will get worse.
When my Dad started to get forgetful, he'd just misplace tools and forget why he was doing something.
He would get up at night and start going through every closet and every drawer in the house. When asked what he was looking for, he would always say "Don't know, but I'm looking for something."
He definitely got his exercise. He had this obsession about the electric fence that was around the lower field to keep deer out of the peas, corn, and butter-beans. He would be sitting in his chair looking out the back window, get up, and say that he hadn't checked the fence today, and make the almost two mile walk around the fields.
He'd get back and within an hour of sitting down, he'd declare that he hadn't checked the fence and off he'd go. As long as he didn't head toward the road, he was alright. The electric fence went from behind the house and around the lower field back to the house.
His mind may have been giving him mixed signals, but he knew not to touch that fence.

Remember that every time she asks you a question, don't let on that she had asked it before. To her, it's the first time she had asked it.

In an out of home environment keep a close watch on them. Like a small child their attention span in limited, and are easily distracted by colorful and shiny displays. They can also get away from you very quickly because while you think they might be following you, they could be in a whole different store in a mall.

Always use their name in a conversation, repeatedly.

Don't feel bad if they can't remember who you are, just keep going on with the conversation. If someone is with you, always refer to each other by name. My Dad was at the point where he couldn't remember exactly who we were, but he did know that somehow we meant something to him.

Ask what they had been doing that day. You might be surprised at what answers you get.
With my Dad, he had been out plowing, planting, feeding the hogs and horses. He had visited with neighbors "down the road", and had talked with his brothers. ( My Dad was the only living one of 17 brothers and sisters.)
Some of the guys in the ward with him had been repairing items on their ship or plane, been on a hike or training, visiting with grandchildren and other things.
None had left the ward, most had not had visitors.

The mood swings are not unusual. I saw guys that usually spoke very quietly, pleasant to talk to, and then break out and get downright violent and abusive. When she does, just smile and talk to her, agree with anything she says, and she'll calm down in a little bit.
Don't be too surprised if she cusses up a blue streak, it will pass.

One thing that struck me as unusual is that many of the patients would remember things exactly from 60 and 70 years ago, but couldn't tell you what they had just had for lunch.

 

____________________
All photos posted of family, friends, and places, including those of historic ABB value, by this poster are copyrighted by the poster, or posted by permission of the copywriter.
None of those photos may be reproduced for commercial gain.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18687
(19089 all sites)
Registered: 7/2/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 10:14 AM
...everything Jerry said above.

Patience is the key, something I struggle with in relating to my 87 year old Mom. My almost 89 year old Dad takes care of her and everything associated with their life and their house.
Old man turned out to be a Saint after all...

Another thing - I've found that my Mom takes a while to process what she's hearing you say - so it's important to take it slow and easy....

 
E-Mail User

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 13909
(15926 all sites)
Registered: 3/14/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 10:15 AM
wow...man, I am so sorry...my prayers are with you

 

____________________

 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5944
(6041 all sites)
Registered: 1/24/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 10:46 AM
Some other things that I believe help slow the process.
Exercising. Getting the blood moving. I gave Mom a pretty vigorous workout at leas once a week. Right up to the day before she went into the hospital for the final time.
She loved it. Wanted to go till she was exhausted.

Exercising the mind. Reading, crossword puzzles. My Grandmom answered the phone for our family business, took messages, etc. Well past 98. Mom read the newspaper every day till she lost her vision. That's when the mind deterioration accellerated.
But she had me bring a clock radio to her room at assisted living, set it so that it went off in time for her to hear the news every morning. Then we would discuss what was going on in the world whenever I visited. Find something that can keep her mind processing logic, if you can. And best wishes.

One other point. Keep praying, keep your spirits up. There's tremendous research ongoing to fight dementia in its varying forms. Anybody that conquers this hideous thing is going to make a bunch of money, and more power to them. It's as vile, as big a curse, as cancer IMHO. Looking forward to the day when it becomes as rare as polio and smallpox.

 
E-Mail User

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 10412
(10413 all sites)
Registered: 12/22/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 12:42 PM
The husband of a good friend had Alzheimer's. She said the only good thing was they would have these big fights, then five minutes later he did not remember having them, where he always held grudges before.

 

____________________

We're all Bozos on this bus!

 

Peach Extraordinaire



Karma:
Posts: 4092
(4089 all sites)
Registered: 12/11/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 01:08 PM
My dad is either in late stage 1 or early stage 2. We knew it 5 years ago, but he was officially diagnosed 2 years ago. He still drives to a couple places including the golf course, but there is no way my mom would send him to the grocery store to pick something up.

He's as happy as anyone you'd meet thankfully. He's still great with the grandchildren. In a group of people he's a shell of the personality he once was. He was a guy who lit up a room. Had a good crooner voice. My mom would play piano and my dad would sing Tony Bennett and Nat King Cole at neighborhood dinner parties in his prime. Now he doesn't really want to stay long....I can understand that it would be confusing not remembering anyone's names at the event.

Good news is I think that he doesn't have the perspective to understand how much memory he's lost....if that makes sense.

He's physically in great shape at age 74, but I wish he'd do more arobic exercise and listen to music. Both are good for the brain. He retired young (age 62) and didnt' exercise is brain over the past decade which would have helped some. These things would have only put it off. I think the drugs he's taking have slowed progression slightly.

My mom is in great shape at 73 and has the genes to live another 20 years.

 

____________________
Tim L.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 16589
(16871 all sites)
Registered: 12/24/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 01:46 PM
So sorry to hear about this, Steve. I've never had to deal with that.
I have a neighbor with it, and she just gets a little worse everyday.
I will be thinking positive thoughts for you and sending hugs.

 

____________________

Thanks for playing
R.I.P. Spacemonkey

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 27533
(27822 all sites)
Registered: 2/18/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 02:02 PM
quote:
Looks like I am in for a long hard ride. My mother is in third stage of this dreaded disease and it just so happens her sister in Connecticut has been diagnosed with it as well.

She is misplacing things, asks the same questions 3 or 4 times in a half hour, has got lost coming home from shopping, is leaving the stove on, and forgets why she is at someplace. But, worse of all is she is sweet most of the time, but has her moments when she turns mean and says ugly things.

I'd appreciate some advise on what I am about to be dealing with. I am about to go stir crazy myself.


I'm so sorry to hear about this. We went through it with both of Johnny's parents and I'll share what we learned from that experience. Try to keep all of the things she uses regularly in one place....won't stop them from turning up under the sofa cushions or behind the air filters in the house but it's a start.

Hid the car keys if she's getting lost. It's not going to get any better. An erasable board works well for simple questions and get a deadbold on the doors with a removable key on the inside so she can't get out while you're sleeping.

Now, for yourself. Enquire into what services are available....in some places there are day care facilities for alzheimer's patients that will allow the caregiver to have a day off now and again, don't feel guilty if you lose your patience or need time to yourself. Do the best you can with love in your heart and be willing to let go when the time comes. We kept round the clock care for his mother until the money was exhausted and she had to go to a rest home. Be sure to start looking into your legal options now in so far as medicaid and what the requirements are to receive coverage. Move any assets she may have out of her control now.....it will be beneficial in the long run.

Good luck.

 

____________________
Sometimes we can't choose the music life gives us - but we damn sure can choose how we dance!


 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 772
(772 all sites)
Registered: 3/29/2008
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 02:15 PM
Hey Steve sorry to hear the news positive thoughts and vibes to you and your mom
and aunt

Tonight Madison and I will be home after 6pm cst if you want to call us

As you know she is a Behavior Analyst and has worked with in the past and works with patients now that have Alzheimer's

 

____________________
"Close your eyes and listen"


 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 531
(531 all sites)
Registered: 8/26/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 02:35 PM
My Dad was just diagnosed with it, watching him get worse breaks my heart. Mom is doing the best she can but she has trouble with depression. I try to be there as much as possible to help out but I can't be there all the time and when I am not seems it like something bad always happens.Like everything else never thought it would happen to someone in my family. Healing vibes for those who need them, love you Dad James Christopher Tunney.
 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1891
(1898 all sites)
Registered: 1/31/2010
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 03:50 PM
So sorry for what's happening in your life and your mom's life. It's all so overwhelming. All the things that have been mentioned here are excellent.

My mother had Alzheimer's for about 20 years when you count the preliminary stages. It was like loosing her twice, once when her personality changed and the second when she physically passed.

Make sure she is surrounded by things from her past, these things will keep her grounded. She may need to go to an assisted living facility, mine did and most people with this horrible disease need the extra care. My sister and I took care of her ourselves as long as it was physically possible, however, there is only so much your body can take and if you don't take care of you you won't be able to care for your mom, I know, BTDT.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Of all the terminal illnesses personally alzheimers and cancer run neck and neck with being the worst IMHO. What triggered my mother's progression was the death of my dad. We lost him in 1995, and had to move mother to assisted living in 1997, she passed in 1999. She had been ill since the middle 70's, but they didn't really know what to call it then.

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. If you need anything, do not hesitate to PM and I'll do my best to help or direct you to help.

[Edited on 3/17/2010 by caseymac]

[Edited on 3/18/2010 by caseymac]

 

____________________
ON THAT DAY WHEN YOU NEED YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TO CARE, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
CITIZEN SOLDIERS HOLDING THE LIGHT FOR THE ONES THAT WE GUIDE FROM THE DARK OF DESPAIR.
STANDING ON GUARD FOR THE ONES THAT WE SHELTERED,
WE'LL ALWAYS BE READY BECAUSE WE

 

Peach Pro



Karma:
Posts: 425
(436 all sites)
Registered: 5/17/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 07:06 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this. My Mom is just a little farther along than yours and her sister is about 8 years farther down the road with the same disease. We never mention the fact that she just asked the same question, it only frustrates her. We try to keep a sense of humor and be sympathetic when she has a meltdown. It seems to help. You're in for a tough, heartbreaking haul, there's no way around it. I'll pray for you and you can pray for me, too. then we can all pray for a cure and patience and guidance to get us through this. It's just so completely NOT FAIR.
 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1719
(1719 all sites)
Registered: 1/4/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/17/2010 at 07:20 PM
Hey Steve.. Sorry to hear about your mom, just wanna let you know that we are thinking of you. Hugs to you...

 

____________________
You're My Blue Sky, You're My Sunny Day....
http://www.myspace.com/yournameherehats

http://www.e-z-2-win.com/hats.htm



 

Peach Extraordinaire



Karma:
Posts: 4481
(4487 all sites)
Registered: 9/10/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/18/2010 at 12:52 AM
Thanks to all for your well wishes and advise. Things got a little ugly yesterday and we were gone most of the day as a result of. Don't know if it's her or her problem when she says bad things now. Mom always was a little mean spirited to begin with and it is hard to tell now which is which and what is what at this point. It's definitely not gonna be easy, but thanks again. I'll endeavor to persevere.

 

____________________
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” - Mahatma Gandhi

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 11252
(11270 all sites)
Registered: 3/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/18/2010 at 01:55 AM
Steve, my heart breaks for you and your family, especially your Mom.....I really don't know what to say except that I will pray for you all.

It may help to seek out a support group if possible.....knowing you are not alone can be a great comfort.

 

____________________
"Love Like You've Never Been Hurt"-Satchel Paige

 

Peach Pro



Karma:
Posts: 425
(436 all sites)
Registered: 5/17/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/18/2010 at 06:21 AM
Just one more quick thing Steve. The little connectors in the brain that make you remember what you learned become disconnected. That means info goes in, but never registers. So it's not a matter of paying attention or not..iinformation just doesn't get stored...hence the asking the same question time after time. We just answer things like it's the first time she asked. And yes, being nastier than usual is also another side effect, makes it really difficult sometimes, because it seems they'll say stuff to deliberately hurt your feelings. You almost have to pretend it's someone else. Hang tight.
 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 12352
(12475 all sites)
Registered: 2/25/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/18/2010 at 07:54 AM
Keeping you in my thougts and prayers Steve....

 

____________________
"Political correctness is a doctrine -- fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rapidly promoted by mainstream media -- which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of $hit by the clean end."

 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1719
(1719 all sites)
Registered: 1/4/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/18/2010 at 11:47 AM
Hey Steve: Sending some {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you............

 

____________________
You're My Blue Sky, You're My Sunny Day....
http://www.myspace.com/yournameherehats

http://www.e-z-2-win.com/hats.htm



 
<<  1    2  >>  


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software

Privacy | Terms of Service | Report Infringement | Personal Data Management | Contact Us
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com